









=.*" 










4°, 










^^-v 



*x. '. 







0^ il* < 












• M 






iP"^*. 















u*' '^c^^ '^mi^* „o ' '^^ ••^«3K^^° ^*' --^ 












i^-nK \ 



: Ao^ ; 



<*i. *; 






^- ^^-t.. •) 






3^, 













REVELATIONS: 



COMPANION 



^^NEW GOSPEL OF PEACE." 



ACCORDING TO ABRAHAM. 



NEW-YORK : 
PUBLISHED BY FEEKS & BANCKER, 

" ■■ \ N N 8 T K 1-. 1-: T. 

1863. 



PiEYELATIONS: 



A 



COMPANION 



''^mY GOSPEL OF PEACE.'' 



ACCORDING TO ABRAHAM. 



NEW YORK: 
PUBLISHED BY M. DOOLADY, Agent, 

49 WALKER STREET. 
18G3. 



Co 



'L CD 



n^ 



Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1S63, 

By M. DOOLADY, Agent, 

In the Clerk"? Oliioe of tlie Distriet Court of tlio United States 
for tlie Sgutliern District of New Yorli.. 



"^q Ua.w,.^f 



.i3UV 



••WlX' ^C.<lA. 



REVELATIONS 



CHAPTER I. 



1. The Revelation. 2. The War. 3. The Patriarch. 4. The Brig- 
adiers. 5. Shoddee. 8. The Patriarch clothes his Brigadiers. 
12. Temple of High Shoddee. 14. The Patriarch's little story. 

1. Behold ! O my Patriots, tlie mystery is 
revealed ; even unto babes and sucklings. 

2. In the reisfn of the Patriarch horrid war 
filled the land with wailing, even the fiiir land 
of Jonathan. 

3. From morn till night, and from night till 
morn, there was no rest for the people ; for did 
not the voice of the Patriarch continually cry, 
"Raze it, raze it; there's nobody hurt, there's 
nobody hurt." 

4. So the Brigadiers went up and down the 
land, seeking whom they might devour. 

5. In that never-to-be-forgotten reign there 
arose in the city of the Gothamites many who 
were possessed of a devil (the word devil means 
JSTiggero in the original), who were denominated 



4 REVELATIONS. 

in the census of the mighty city, Ripuplicanas, 
which signifies the followers of Beelzebub, alias 
Shoddee. 

6. And they were not like other men ; for 
they believed black was ivliite^ only a little more 
so. 

7. But they cried nnto the Patriarch, and the 
Patriarch was their friend. 

8. Now as the Patriarch grew plucky, he 
summoned his brave Brigadiers, and answered 
nnto them and said: ^'Behold! my valiant cocks, 
your seedy toggery; your shocking bad 'ats; 
your hungry soles. I, even I, the Patriarch, Avill 
cover your nakedness. Ye shall stand adorned 
with the blue of the skies, and stars shall bedeck 
your shoulders." 

9. When the Patriarch had "dried up," the 
assembled throng gave him a Tigahah, and went 
their way rejoicing. 

10. Then there was naught heard throughout 
the land, save the noise of the shearers as they 
sheared their sheep, and the buzz of the wheels 
within wheels of the mighty works, until the 
martial hosts the Patriarch had summoned were 
equipped as their worshipful lord had com- 
manded. 

11. So when all this was accomplished, the 
Eipuplicanas, the followers of Beelzebub, alias 



REVELATIONS. 5 

Sboddee, were full of glee and gold ; for did not 
they 6'liear the slieep ; and did not they move the 
wheels ; and were not they the priests of the 
new order of Shoddee ; and theirs the hlood of 
\Xi^ prophets f 

12. Then did the Ripuplicanas, followers of 
Beelzebub, alias Shoddee, wax fat and saucy, and 
they said one to another, Let us up and build us 
an altar even in the place of our High Shoddee, 
called Fifthavynew. There let us build it, and 
place upon it the figure of our god, even a molten 
Niggero, and fall dowu and worship it in the 
sight of all the people ; for we shall thereby find 
favor with our father the Patriarch. 

13. So they straightway went and did accord- 
ing to their counsel. And, behold an altar of 
brown stone richly carved, and above it the 
figure of the idol of the great Shoddee, which 
may be seen there even at this day. 

14. And the noise of their rejoicing reached 
the ears of the Patriarch, and he was exceeding 
glad. And unto his chief priest and scribe he 
answered and said, "That reminds me of a little 
story." Thereupon he related the following 
narrative: "In the days of the Lawgiver, certain 
of the people, forgetting that it was because of 
their observance of the Compact they had been 
brought in safety out of the land of Egypt, did 



6 REVELATIONS. 

with malice prepense gather themselves together 
unto Abraham, and said, Be thou our ruler. 
And Abraham " saw it," and did as they desired. 
Then did the spirit of the Lawgiver cry: "The 
people have corrujDted themselves." But Abra- 
ham answered and said, "The Compact is 
played out. I have put my foot down ; and 
when I raise it asrain it will be felt in the seat 

o 

of war." 

15. Here the laugh of the Patriarch's chief 
priest and scribe came in, upon which the Cab- 
inet of the Patriarch was adjourned. 

16. Behold! O my patriots, the end of the 
First Chapter. 



CHAPTER IL 

1. The Wail. 2. Webfoot. 3. Morgalino. 7. The Gourd Stoiy. 
11. The Brigadiers down on Webfoot. They desire a seafaring 
man. 13. The Cottonade. 14. Loyalty. 

1. After these things there came a wail from 
the great deep ; for mighty was the damage the 
foe had done thereon. 

2. Then the Patriarch clapped his hands, and 
summoned unto his presence his Seacretary called 
'Wel)foot, and answered unto him and said. "Buy 



REVELATIOI^S. 7 

me ships wherewith I may float my Brigadiei's to 
the battle-field to crush the Cottonade." 

3. And when the Patriarch had ended his 
speech, his Seacretary Webfoot clapped his hands, 
and summoned unto his presence his foithful 
Morgahno, whose name was great "on change," 
and answered unto him and said, " Buy me 
ships Avherewith I may, or may not, float my 
brave Bricradiers to the battle-field to crush the 

o 

Cottonade." 

4. So his faithful Morgahno did as he was com- 
manded, and the wail returned to the deep, and 
many were the ships that the faithful Morgahno 
bought, so that soon, did he jostle the crowd of 
devotees at the altar of High Shoddee, and great 
was the stir in their midst as he counted out his 
gold-offering. 

5. Then did the Seacretary Webfoot go straight- 
way into the presence of the Patriarch, and unto 
his majesty did say: "Look out, O Patriarch, 
upon the deep, and tell me what thou seest." 
And the Patriarch rose up and gazed upon the 
face of the waters, until a mighty storm arose 
and floated his brave Brio^adiers from his sio'ht. 

6. And the Patriarch cried with a loud voice 
unto his chief priest and scribe : " O SeaAVord ! 
cover me with a gourd." 

7. Then unto his Seacretary Webfoot he an- 



8 REVELATIOTs^S. 

swei'ed, and said, "That reminds me of a story: 
There was a certain man named Jonah, who 
cried unto the people, saying: 'Let theni turn 
every one from his evil way, and from the 
violence that is in their hands.' They turned ; 
and Jonah was angry." Hence the gourd story. 

8. Now, my Webfoot, which of us resembles 
Jonah the most ? 

9. Echo answered. Who ! 

10. So when the E-ipuplicanas, followers of 
Beelzebub, alias Shoddee, heard of all the great 
things' that had been done upon the sea, they 
were filled with rejoicing, and said : Who so 
great as the Patriarch ; and Webfoot is his 
prophet. 

11. But the brave Brio^adiers were down on 
Webfoot and his faithful Morgahno ; and they 
prayed the l^atriarch to grant them another 
Seacretary, even a sea-faring man. 

12. Moreover, notwithstanding, nevertheless, 
the Patriarch disturbed not his Cabinet furni- 
ture ; and he did continue to declare to the 
people tlie wisdom and greatness of his Seacre- 
tary Webfoot. 

13. Then did it come to pass that the liipupli- 
canas, followers of Beelzebub, alias Shoddee, see- 
ing the mind of the Pati'iarch, did take and load 
many ships Avitli merchandise and sail them to 



REVELATIONS. d 

the Cottonade, and there barter the merchan- 
dise for the treasure of Niggero, and return witli 
their vessels heavy laden, to bow the knee 
anew at the shrine of the great Shoddee. 

14. And thus did the Kipuplicanas, followers 
of Beelzebub, alias Shoddee, testify their loyalty 
to the land of their lathers. 

15. And continually did they cry unto the 
Patriarch, and the. Patriarch was their friend. 

16. Behold, O my Patriots, the end of the 
Second Chapter. 



CHAPTEE ni. 

1. The War. 2. The needy Brigadiers. 4. The Patriarch's tears. 
G. Another story. 13. Achancammerone. 15. The uneasy Briga- 
diers. 20. The Reason of their Disquiet. 24. The Remedy. 
27. The Spoils. 29. The Scribes and Pharisees murmur. 80. They 
disturb the Patriarch. 41. The cause of their murmurings. 43. The 
Remedy. 53. Achancammerone goeth abroad. 56. A great 
Feast. 

1. And the war Avas grievous in the land. 

2. And it came to pass that there was sore 
need among the hosts of the Patriarch, so that 
the brave Brigadiers cried aloud unto the Pa- 
triarch. 

3. O most Lengthy Potentate ! didst thou 
not command the heavens to clothe us, and the 



10 EEVELATIOKS. 

stars to glitter on us ? Alas ! alas ! No sooner 
was thy command obeyed than our toggery van- 
ished like the baseless fabric of a vision, leaving 
no rag behind. Be merciful unto thy servants, 
even as Scotchplaidy was merciful unto thee. 

4. And the spirit of the Patriarch was stirred 
within him. He arose and viewed his brave 
Brigadiers, — and wept. 

5. Then with a loud voice he cried unto them : 
" This reminds me of a little story." 

6. There was a certain king, who had an hon- 
est minister. 

7. One day the spirit moved the king to com- 
mand his minister to tell his mind concerning 
him. 

8. Whereupon the minister fell upon his face, 
and said : O thou Mighty One ! thy servant 
must speak the words of truth and soberness : 
" Thou art weighed in the balances, and found 
wanting." " Thy kingdom is divided." 

9. And when the Patriarch had made an end 
of speaking, the multitude shouted : Long live 
the Patriarch, our Great Potentate ! 

10. And every man went his way 

11. And the Patriarch entered into the Palace 
of the Whiteman, even into the innermost 
chamber. 

12. There did the Patriarch remain fasting 



EEVELATIOjN^S. 11 

many days and nights, until tlie sliadow of the 
Patriarch had nearly disappeared. 

13. Then summoned he unto him his familiar, 
yclept Achancammerone, surnamed Bellicose, 

14. And thus did he discourse : 

15. I pray thee tell me, my familiar, why all 
this disquiet among my brave Brigadiers ? 

16. Why do they rage, and imagine a vain 
thing ? 

17. Whereupon, Achancammerone, the Patri- 
arch's familiar, surnamed Bellicose, answered 
him, and said : 

18. It becometh not thy servant, O, thou 
Wisest of Mortals, to show thee what thou 
already seest. 

19. Kather let me be numbered with those 
who have merited thy displeasure. 

20. But, O Patriarch, I make me bold to say, 
thy brave Brigadiers imagine not a vain thing. 
They rage; but there is method in their ra- 
ging. 

21. The Patriarch bade his familiar speak on. 

22. Now know. Most Elevated One, that the 
children of this world are wise in their genera- 
tion. Therefore do I declare unto thee my 
whole counsel. 

23. The Patriarch bade his familiar speak on. 

24. Give thou, O Dispenser of Patronage, 



12 -REVEL ATIOlSrS. 

unto these men to plume themselves with the 
spoils, as becometh the victors to do. Bid them 
feather their nests with the fat things which are 
the pride of the foe. Say unto them: Gather 
the gold and precious stones, and bedeck ye 
yourselves and your wives, your children and 
servants ; and clothe ye your households in fine 
linen, even in the royal purple. 

25. Speak thus unto them, O thou Most 
Honest Ruler, and as thy servant liveth, thou 
shalt no more be vexed. 

26. And the Patriarch said — nary a word. 

27. Plowever, there was great spoil taken ; of 
gold, and silver, and precious stones ; linen and 
royal purple ; and great was the prey that was 
taken, both of man and of beast. 

28. And great was the rejoicing of the people ; 
and gayly did the brave Brigadiers drive their 
fast horses in the broad ways before the temple 
of High Shoddee. 

29. But certain of the scribes and pharisees, 
who dwelt in the city of the temple of High 
Shoddee, murmured against the Patriarch's 
familiar, Achancammerone, surnamed Bellicose. 

30. And the noise of tlieir murmurings 
reached the ears of the Patriarch. 

31. So it came to pass that the Patriarch hid 
himself as before in his most secret chamber. 



EEVELATIONS. 13 

32. And, after much fasting, be clapped his 
hands, and summoned again unto him 

33. Achancammerone, his familiar, surnamed 
Bellicose. 

34. And thus did he discourse. 

35. I pray thee, my familiar, tell me why the 
money-changers quarrel in the place of High 
Shoddee ? 

36. Why do the scribes Avrite bitter things 
against their ruler ? 

37. Why do the pharisees put on airs ? 

38. And the Patriarch's familiar answered 
him and said : 

39. Behold, O Sagacious Sage, as thy servant 
liveth I will speak the truth. 

40. The Patriarch bade his familiar speak 
on. 

41. Do thou, O Warrior of the Whitehouse, 
bid them gather weapons of war for thy* brave 
Brio^adiers. 

42. Do thou bid them lay up of the treasure 
which thou control lest. 

43. Do thou create new posts of honor for 
them, which shall fill them to repletion with the 
great mammon. 

44. And as thy servant liveth, they shall no 
longer vex thee, O most Amiable Sovereign. 

45. And the Patriarch was— mum. 



14 REVELATIONS. 

46. Then tliere arose a great sliout ia tlie 
palace of Higli Shodclee. 

47. And the scribes sang the praises of the 
Patriarch throughout the length and breadth of 
the land. 

48. The pharisees forgot the Samaritans in 
their glee. 

49. And all the people united in the shout : 
Long live the Patriarch, and Achancammerone 
his79r(9;;/^(?^/ 

50. So the fame of Achancammerone spread 
abroad ; and he was known far and near. 

51. Thereupon the Patriarch bethought him 
to send his flmiiliar, Achancammerone, surnamed 
Bellicose, to foreign lands ; that the name and 
fame of the Patriarch might be known through- 
out the earth. 

52. For the Patriarch was ambitious. 

53. So the Patriarch sent his familiar to a 
far distant country, to tell the heathen of the 
great Patriarch who ruled the western hemi- 
spliere. 

54. And the Patriarch saw what he had done, 
and was satisfied. 

55. But his familiar, Achancammerone, sur- 
named Bellicose, said — nary a word. 

5(5. Then there was a great feast in the place 
of the High Shoddee ; and the air rang with the 



EEVELATIOIS'S. 1 5 

shouts of the multitude; and the great idol 
JSTiggei'o glittered and glistened in the sun : 

57. For the scribes and pharisees were as an 
army with banners. 

58. And the people cried unto the Patriarch, 
and the Patriarch- was their friend. 

59. Behold, O my Patriots, the end of the 
Third Chapter. 



CHAPTEE lY. 

1. Horace the Grilleyte and Heniy the Raymite. 5. " I am here." 
7. Herod-bar-Stantine. 8. The Acts of Achancammerone. 9. 
His record. 

1. In those days there were two scribes, one 
Horace the Grilleyte and Plenry the Raymite, 
who gave the Patriarch no peace, neither day 
nor night. 

2. Then was the Patriarch greatly troubled. 
And hid himself from the sight of men for many 
days. 

3. And it came to pass that the Patriarch 
opened his mouth and said : 

4. Oh that my familiar, even Achancammerone, 
surnamed Bellicose, Avere not in my thoughts. 

5. Then, as it were in the twinkling of an eye, 



16 REVEL ATIO]N"S. 

he heard the voice of his familiar saying, '' I am 
here." 

6. So Horace the Grilleyte and Henry the 
Raymite gave the Patriarch no peace, neither 
day nor night. 

7. And the Patriarch's familiar was thrust 
from his presence, and Herod-bar-Stantine was 
chosen from among the people to minister unto 
the Patriarch in his stead, for did he not out- 
Herod Herod. 

8. Thus endeth this record of the deeds of 
Achancammerone, surnamed Bellicose. 

9. But are not his mighty acts written in the 
pages of the archives in the temple of Beelzebub 
in the palace of the High Shoddee ! 

10. Behold, O mv Patriots, the end of the 
Fom-th Cliapter. 



CHAPTEE Y. 

1, Chason tlie Treasurer. 2. His skill in Metallurgy and Astrology. 
3. Star-gazing. 4. He soliloquizes. 7. A graven image, and what 
lie will do with it. 13. A No. 1. 14. The Patriarch's disturbers. 

1. Now there was one of those who stood 
in high places before the Patriarch, who was 
called Chason the Treasurer, whose duty it was 



REVELATIONS. 17 

to look after the Patriarch's money-bags in the 
fair land of Jonathan. 

2. This Chason the Treasurer was skilled in 
metalhirgy and astrology. And daily did he 
study the one, and nightly did he delight in the 
other. 

3. So it came to pass one night, as he sat 
gazing at the stars, that a lucky thought struck 
him, and thus did he soliloquize : 

4. "Am I not A No. 1 ? Do I not rule on 
change and control the sinews of war ? Am I 
not alone worthy to receive the mantle of the 
Patriarch ? 

5. O Stars ! how shall I obtain the prize ? 

6. Ah ! I have it ! 

7. I will make unto myself a graven image of 
my patron Beelzebub, alias Shoddee, and this will 
I imprint in living green on ftiirest linen bands. 

8. And on the face thereof will I put the 
likeness of Chason the Treasurer, the successor 
of the Patriarch. 

9. These linen bands will I scatter broadcast 
among the people. Then will the Patriarch be 
forgotten, and Chason the Treasurer be remem- 
bered in the land forevermore." 

10. And straightway went Chason the Treas- 
urer, and did as he had devised. 

11. And he scattered the fair linen bands with 



18 REVELATIONS. 

backs of living green up and down tlie liigliways, 
so that there was no man to be found in the 
land that had not one of the fair linen bands. 

12. Then Chason the Treasurer stood A ISlo, 1 
before the people. 

13. But the Patriarch was from that day no 
longer before the people as A No. 1. 

14. And Horace the Grilleyte and Henry the 
Raymite gave the Patriarch no peace neither 
day nor night. 

15. Behold, O my Patriots, the end of the 
Fifth Chapter. 



CHAPTEE YI. 

1, Confiscation. 4. Bootyler. 5. Bearfremount. 6. The Wailing 
of the Women and Children. 8. Bootyler's Deeds. 12. Bearfre- 
mount's Ambition. 13. The Patriarch's Indignation. 17. The 
Perseverance of the Patriarch's Messengers. 21. The Patriarch's 
latest Joke. 

1. Now it came to pass that certain leaders of 
the brave Brigadiers, who had buckled on their 
armor at the eleventh hour, because of tlie 
tidings of the great spotl their brethren had 
taken from the foe, did beseech the Patriarch to 
declare unto the jDCople the statute known as 
" Confiscation." 



REVELATIONS. 19 

2. For, said they, if thou doest but this, O 
most Illustrious Ruler, thy brave Brigadiers 
shall be as the sands of the sea for multitude, 
and %oe^ most noble Patriarch, will lead them on 
to victory. 

3. And in an evil hour the Patriarch raised 
his foot. 

4. So the brave Brigadiers returned to the 
war : and they were led in the way of the Cot- 
tonade by him whom the Patriarch called Boo- 
tyler ; 

5. And in the way of the Niggero by him 
wdiom the Patriarch called Bearfremount. 

6. And great was the w^ailing of the women 
and children at the Cottonade. 

7. And the spoil of Bootyler was more than 
the ships of the Patriarch could transport. 

8. And his deeds, if they should be all w^ritten, 
I suppose that even the temple of High Shoddee 
itself could not contain the books that should be 
written. 

9. But Bearfremount looked not alone to 
sjDoil, for was he not lord of MarijDOsa ? 

10. Therefore did he seek occasion to gain 
the favor of the false god, Niggero, that he 
might betray the Patriarch into the hands of 
the Philistines. 

11. So he bade his heralds declare to the 



20 REVEL ATIOTsTS. 

people wheresoever he tarried, the new dispen- 
sation of which he was the sole originator and 
dispense]-. 

12. And he did establish his court, and issue 
his decrees, as though the Patriarch had de- 
ceased and was gathered to his fathers. 

13. But a bird did carry the news to the 
house of the Whiteman, and to the ear of the 
Patriarch ; and he became exceeding wroth, 
even foaming at the mouth in his great indigna- 
tion. 

14. For the Patriarch read the thought that 
was in the breast of Bearfremount, as though 
Bearfre mount had said : Oh that I were made 
judge in the land, that every man which hath 
any suit or cause might come unto me, and I 
would do him justice ! 

15. So the Patriarch dispatched his messen- 
gers to bid Bearfremount to come unto him. 

16. But sorely vexed were the Patriarch's 
messengers. 

17. Yet did they persevere, until, by wonder- 
ful strategy, they placed the Patriarch's command 
before the dread Bearfremount. 

18. Then did the tidings of their success 
thrill the heart of the Patriarch, like as it were, 
the tidings of a great victory. 

19. So when Bearfremount w^as come unto 



REVELATIONS. 21 

the house of the Whiteman, the Patriarch 
rushed forth, and fell upon his neck and em- 
braced him, saying, Never more, my beloved 
Bearfremount, shalt tliou hazard thy life for my 
sake ; sit thou here at my right hand. 

20. And there was great rejoicing throughout 
the land. 

21. And the meeting of the Patriarch and 
Bearfremount was recorded in the pages of Sea- 
word's book as " the Patriarch's latest joke." 

22. Behold, O my Patriots, the end of the 
Sixth Chapter. 



CHAPTER YII. 

1. The Spoil. 2. Contention. 5. The Captives. 7. Emancipation. 
8. The Patriarch a Planter. 10. Another Story. 

1. And the spoil, both of men and beasts, was 
very great. 

2. So that there was much contention touch- 
ine: the division thereof. 

3. And the noise of the contentious ones 
ascended to the ear of the Patriarch. 

4. And he said unto the contentious ones, 
Why quarrel ye concerning the captives, even 
in the face of the foe ? 



22 REVELATIONS. 

5. And they answered him, and said, It is for 
the fjood of the captives we do this thing. 

6. But the Patriarch read their thoughts afar 
off. 

7. Therefore did he decLare unto the people a 
new statute, called "Emancipation," which caused 
all such spoil to fall to the share of the Patriarch. 

8. For, behold ! my people, said the Patriarch, 
I will take possession of the fairest lands of the 
foe, and I will cause these my captives to till 
the soil thereof, and great shall be the gain to 
the Patriarch. 

9. And the Patriarch was well pleased wdth 
" Emancipation." 

10. Then, said the Patriarch to the assembled 
multitude. That reminds me of a stoiy : 

11. A certain man named Abram went up out 
of Egypt, he, and his wife, and all that he had, 
and Lot Avith him, into the south. 

12. And Abram was very rich in cattle, in 
silver and in gold. 

13. And he went on his journeys from the 
south even to Bethel, unto the place where his 
tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel 
and Hai ; 

14. Unto the place of the altar, which he had 
made there at the first : and there Abram called 
on the name of the Lord. 



EEYELATION'S. 23 

15. And Lot also, which went with Abram, 
had flocks, and herds, and tents. 

16. And the hand was not able to bear them, 
tliat they might dwell together: for their sul)- 
stance was great, so that they could not dwell 
tos^ether. 

17. And there was a strife between the herd- 
men of Abram's cattle and the herdmen of Lot's 
cattle : and the Canaanite and the Perizzite dwelt 
til en in the land. 

18. And Abram said unto Lot, Let there be no 
strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and 
between my herdmen and thy herdmen ; for we 
be brethren. 

19. Is not the whole land before thee? Sepa- 
rate thyself, I pray thee, from me : if thou wilt 
take the left hand, then I will go to the right ; 
or if thou depart to the right hand, then I will 
go to the left. 

20. And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all 
the 2^1ains of Jordan, that it was well watered 
everywhere, before the Lord destroyed Sodom 
and Gomorrah, even as the garden of the Lord, 
like the land of Egypt, as thou comest unto Zoar. 

21. Then Lot chose him all the plain of Jordan; 
and Lot journeyed east : and they separated 
themselves the one from the other. 

22. And when the Patriarch had made an end 



24 REVELATIONS. 

of speaking, the assembled inultitucle sent iij) a 
shout in praise of the Patriarch, for the Patriarch 
was their friend. 

23. And Horace the Grilleyte and Henry the 
Ray mite were among the multitude, and they 
remembered the Patriarch's story. 

24. Behold, O my patriots, the end of the Sev- 
enth Chapter. 



CHAPTER YIII. 

1. The War. 4. The Patriarch's Speech. 18. And there "was a 
Pause. 20. The only Speaker left. 

1. Yet did the war desolate the land, and the 
prophets saw no signs of peace. 

2. So the Patriarch summoned all the wise 
men of the land to the house of the Wh item an, 
that they might take counsel together concerning 
the war. 

3. And when they were assembled in the 
presence of the Patriarch, he spoke unto them, 
saying, 

4. Ye men of the fair land of Jonathan, I ap- 
pear before you on this august occasion that I 
may see you and be seen by you. Although I 
summoned you hither, it was but for this great 
purpose — to see and be seen. 



EEVELATIONS. 25 

5. And that I might call your attention, in 
particular and public manner, to the only clause 
of the Compact that I decreed should be per- 
mitted to stand. 

6. O ye men of the fair land of Jonathan, 
have you forgotten that these immortal words 
were the first your Patriarch uttered in your ears ? 

7. Have you forgotten how often your Patri- 
arch has since their first utterance repeated them 
to you ? 

8. And now I again say that the great privilege 
you enjoy as my subjects, and the only one left 
you from the Compact, is — to see and he seen! 
(Sensation.) 

9. Oh that you would live up to the spirit of 
these words. 

10. If you would but see and be seen there 
would be an end to war. 

11. If you would but see and be seen, I could 
bid adieu to my body-guard. 

12. If you would but see and be seen, I could 
remain your Patriarch, and live and die seeing 
and being seen. 

13. But ye are a stiff-necked and perverse 
people, therefore have I caused a new statute 
to be promulgated, to be called the "Expatria- 
tion," which my brave Burnsydy will declare 
unto you. 



26 REVELATIONS. 

14. So that hereafter, ye men of the fair laiK 
of Jonathan, do ye naught else, but see and h 
seen, 

15. Then did the wise men depart in silence 

16. And no one durst speak; for, to be loyal 
he must only see and be seen. 

17. And it came to pass that silence broode( 
over the once fair land of Jonathan; and then 
was no sound heard throughout the length an( 
breadth thereof save the clicking of the instru 
ments called Telegraphs, which carried th 
Patriarch's immortal proclamation — See and h 
seen — from pole to pole. 

18. In the place of the High Shoddee not ; 
word was heard ; and men bowed the knee ii 
silence. 

19. By the river of Patome the brave Brig 
adiers saw, and were seen by the foe ; and al 
was quiet there. 

20. Now there was but one speaker left in th( 
land, and he, the Patriarch. 

21. Behold, O my Patriots, the end of th( 
Eighth Chapter. 



EEVELATIONS. 27 



CHAPTER IX. 

1. Silence. 2. The Patriarcli reasons. 6. The Patriarch reads. 
34. The Patriarch muses. 37. The Patriarch soliloquizes. 41. 
The Patriarch's Policy. 43. The Patriarch's Preachers. 

1. And it came to 23ass tliat while silence 
reigned in the fair land of Jonathan, the Patri- 
arch bethought him of the saying, — Wisdom is 
better than strength. 

2. And thus to himself he spake: What hin- 
dereth now ? 

3. Yea, I will search the books of the wise 
and holy of the earth, that peradventure I may 
iind therein written the thing I desire to know, 
even the way of deliverance for my people. 

4. And he straightway sought far and near in 
the fair land of Jonathan, and he found the books 
he desired. 

5. Then sat he himself down in the innermost 
chamber of the house of the Whiteman ; 

6. And he gave himself no rest neither day 
nor night, that he might find the precious words. 

7. And Horace the Grilleyte and Henry the 
Kaymite were filled with confusion. 

8. Then the Patriarch opened a book, and 
with a loud voice did he utter : 

9. "The words of wise men are heard in quiet 



28 EEYELATIONS. 

more than the cry of liiin tliat riileth among 
fools." 

10. The Patriarcli turned on. 

11. "There is an evil which I have seen under 
the sun, as an error which proceedeth from the 
ruler." 

12. The Patriarch closed that book, and opened 
another. 

13. "Christianity quite annihilates the disposi- 
tion for martial glory." 

14. "To sacrifice our lives for the liberties, 
and laws, and religion of our native land, are 
undoubtedly high-sounding words: — ^but who 
are they that will do it? Who is it that will 
sacrifice his life for his country ? Will the sen- 
ator who supports a war ? Will the writer who 
declaims upon patriotism? Will the minister 
of religion who recommends the sacrifice ? Take 
away glory — take away iua?\ and there is not a 
man of them who will do it." 

15. The Patriarch threw that book down in 
disgust, and opened another. • 

16. "You would, perhaps, die to save your 
country ; but this is not the question. A sol- 
dier's death does not save his country. The 
question is, whether, without any of the circum- 
stances of war, without any of its glory or its 
pomp, you are willing to resign yourself to the 



REVELATIONS. 29 

executioner. If you are not, you are not willing 
to die for your country." 

17. The Patriarch mused a moment, then 
turned on. 

18. "Christianity does not encourage particiclar 
patriotism, in opposition to general benignity." 

19. "As Ions: as mankind shall continue to 
bestow more liberal applause on their destroyers 
than on their benefactors, the thirst of military 
glory will be the vice of the most exalted char- 
acters." 

20. " The safety of nations is not to be sought 
in arts or in arms. War reverses, with respect 
to its objects, all the rules of morality. It is 
nothing less than a temporary repeal of all the 
principles of virtue. It is a system, out of 
which almost all the virtues are excluded, and 
in which nearly all the vices are incorporated. 
In instructing us to consider a portion of our 
fellow-creatures as the proper objects of enmity, 
it removes, as far as they are concerned, the 
basis of all society, of all civilization, and virtue ; 
for the basis of these is the good will due to 
every individual of the species." 

21. The Patriarch shook his head, and turned on. 

22. "There is but one community of Chris- 
tians in the world, and that, imhappily, of all 
communities one of the smallest, enlightened 



so KEVELATIONS. 

enougli to understand tlie proliibition of Wcar by 
our Divine Master, in its plain, literal, and 
nndeniable sense; and conscientious enough to 
obey it, subduing the very instinct of nature to 
obedience." 

23. The Patriarch grew red in the face, slung 
the book behind him, and opened another. 

24. " They who defend war, must defend the 
dispositions which lead to war," 

25. The Patriarch adjusted his spectacles, 
read the passage again, and — turned on. 

26. "I am persuaded that when the spirit of 
Christianity shall exert its proper influence over 
the minds of individuals, and especially over 
the minds of public men in their public capaci- 
ties, over the minds of men constituting the 
councils of princes, from whence are the issues 
of peace and war — when this happy j)eriod shall 
arrive, war will cease throughout the whole 
Christian world." 

27. " Morality and religion forbid war in its 
motives, conduct, and consequences." 

28. The Patriarch's countenance assumed a 
^rave cast. He laid the book carefully down, 
and took up another. 

29. " Be at peace among yourselves. See that 
none render evil for evil to any man, God 
hath called us to peace." 



EEVELATIOKS. 31 

30. ^^ Avenge not yourselves. If thine enemy 
hunger, feed him ; if he thirst, give him drink. 
Recompense to oio man evil for evil. Overcome 
evil with good." 

31. "It has been said, Thou shalt not kill, 
and whosoever shall kill, shall be in danger of 
the judgment; but I say whosoever is angry 
with his brother without a cause, shall be in 
danger of the judgment." 

32. The Patriarch was disturbed. 

33. "All they that take the sword shall perish 
with the sword." 

34. The Patriarch could read no farther ; but 
fell back upon his couch in a deep and painful 
revery. 

35. For a long time he remained silent. 

36. Then he arose, and paced the chamber 
with a firm step, and an air of resolution. 

37. And thus did he soliloquize : 

38. If these things that I have read be true ; 
if it be true that there is a " new conwiandment^'' 
which is to be obeyed instead of " an eye for an 
eye, a tooth for a tooth," then I must at last 
adopt a — Policy. What shall it be ? 

39. At that moment the Patriarch's eye fell 
upon a page of the book as it lay open before 
him, and read these words : 

40. " The Preacher sought to find out accept- 



32 EEVELATIONS. 

able words: and tliat wbicli was written was 
upright, even words of truth." 

41. Ah ! ha|)py thought, the Patriarch cried, 
I have found a polic}^ 

42. And thus did he reason within himself. 

43. Are not my preachers called to declare 
the things I this day have read ? Is it not their 
mission to proclaim " peace on earth, and good 
will to men ?" Is it not their duty to tell the 
people of the " new commandment .^" 

44. This very day (the Patriarch continued) 
will I publish my Policy ; and it shall be known 
in the laud as — " The Conscription." 

45. Behold! O my Patriots, the end of the 
Mnth Chapter. 



CHAPTEK X. 

1. The Summons. 3. The Patriarch's Speech. 13. The People 
rejoice. 16. The Patriarch's Wisdom. 18. Conscription. 22. The 
Beecherite. 24. The Cheeverite. 26. Philip the Amalgamator. 
80. "I will be the Leader." 31. The Patriarch's Satisfaction. 
82. The Great Commission. 83. The End not Yet. 

1. Thet^ it came to j^^ss that the Patriarch 
did summon every man throughout the length 
and breadth of the land to the Palace of the 
Whiteman. 



EEVELATIONS. 33 

2. And when the people had assembled them- 
selves before the Patriarch, thus did he address 
them: 

3. Ye men of the western hemisphere, give 
ear unto your Patriarch. 

4. Your Patriai'ch is well pleased with your 
obedience to his mandate, — See and he seen. 

5. He is well pleased with your obedience 
to it, that he has directed this mandate to con- 
tinue in force until the end of the war. (Ap- 
plause.) 

6. Your Patriarch summoned you here to-day 
in order that he might say this to you ; and that 
he might see you, and be seen by you on this 
glorious occasion. 

7. He has also something new to make known 
unto you, — he has a Policy. (Sensation.) 

8. This policy is called, " The Conscription." 
(Breathless silence.) 

9. The Patriarch thus understands this Poli- 
cy. The brave Brigadiers are to be called back 
from the Cottonade, and their places are to be 
supplied from the ranks of the clergy ! 

10. Thus will the Patriarch place his preachers 
where they may give practical effect to their 
teachings; and to their labors does the Patri- 
arch look for the return of hlessed ])eace. 

11. (The Patriarch here became too much af 



34 REVELATIONS. 

fectecl to prolong his remarks, and the multitude 
returned to their respective abodes.) 

12. And there was great rejoicing among the 
people, because the preachers were chosen to go 
against their enemies ; For, said every man, are 
they not called to proclaim " the glad tidings of 
salvation, and to publish Peace !" 

13. Blessed peace-makers ! 

14. They shall deliver our unhappy land from 
the scourge of the sword. 

15. Then did all the people speak one with an- 
other of the great things the preachers should do. 

16. And greatly did they magnify the wis- 
dom of the Patriarch, saying. Behold a wiser 
than Solomon. 

17. But the preachers were — mum 

18. And the Patriarch caused the preachers 
to be gathered together according to the Con- 
scription. 

19. And when they were assembled without 
the camp, the Patriarch with his body-guard, 
and the chiefs among his brave Brigadiers, went 
forth to meet them. 

20. And when the Patriarch drew near, every 
man of them was debating with his fellow touch- 
ing the war, and great was the confusion of their 
tongues, for as yet they had no leader. 

21. So it camo to j)ass that, when the Patri- 



REVELATIONS. 35 

arcli saw they had no leader, he waxed exceed- 
ing wroth. 

22. And the Patriarch said unto them, Where 
is he who did so loudly proclaim the Gospel of 
Sharp's Kifles? He, even the Beecherite shall 
lead you. 

23. But the Beecherite could not be fouud, 
for aforetime had he taken counsel with himself, 
and said: " I will get me to the far distant Angle- 
land, and there will I tarry till this cruel war is 
over." 

24. And the Patriarch said unto them, Where 
is he who calleth Mggero his better ? He, even 
the Cheeverite shall lead you. 

25. But the Cheeverite could not be found, 
for he had fled for safety to the temple of the 
Woolly-heads. 

26. And the Patriarch said unto them, Where 
is Philip the Amalgamator ? He shall lead you. 

27. And some answered him, and said, Be- 
hold, O Patriarch, we have sent messengers 
unto Philip, the Amalgamator, to bid him be 
one with ns, but he hath replied, Your banner 
is not my banner, therefore will I not go. 

28. And other some answered him, and said, 
We pray thee, O Patriarch, to be charitable 
unto Philip, the Amalgamator, for perchance he 
may have taken him a wife from among the 



86 REVELATIONS. 

daugliters of Niggero, and therefore he cannot 
come. 

29. Then did the Patriarch again address 
them, saying, Tell me which one from among 
you shall be your leader. 

30. And the assembled preachers, as with the 
voice of one man, each for himself, did cry, I 
will be the leader. 

31. And the Patriarch saw what was in their 
mind, and he was satisfied. 

32. So he commanded them to go forth upon 
their mission, taking naught with them but 
their Great Commission. 

33. And the end tvas not yet come. 



V60 



^ '*-.. -♦^ei^^"' .if"^^ ^^^m.i .»• "t.. -J 









• 1 • •* ^^ 










^^ *; 





















V- °o 



./y^^'X 



I- ^^<y '^j^me>^^ "^rx-^ o. 



"^qV 



V^O^ 



Clo* 












:.• **^%/.^R»' ^/\. ilK*- . **'"^. 



v7^» vv 



<> ^o 



^..^''^^'^''.A 












'. "^ov* .: 



















^s^*^°- '.'^•* ^°V-J 









^■>.V^' . 



V .♦^^*. 






5°^ 













